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Trader Joe’s Is Closing Forever — And 7 More April Fool’s Jokes You Shouldn’t Believe Today

Trader Joe’s Is Closing Forever — And 7 More April Fool’s Jokes You Shouldn’t Believe Today


It’s April 1, and nowadays that means you’re more likely to be fooled by fake products and gag features on the Internet than you are to be actually pranked by someone. (But just in case, check out The Daily Meal’s roundup of the best food pranks to pull.)

We’ve rounded up the best food and drink-related April Fool’s jokes on the Internet so you don’t have to scrounge around for yourself:

Trader Joe’s Is Closing All Stores in 2017: This rumor came about pretty early and didn’t actually originate from Trader Joe’s, but thankfully this news was a hoax and we can all go back to eating Trader Joe’s Speculoos Cookie Butter in peace.

Burger King Is Selling Singular Fries: “After a Whopper, who still has time for an entire bag of fries?” This impressive fake ad from Burger King touts the benefits of “single fries, individually prepared with each order.”

ThinkGeek Releases a Mentos and Diet Coke Rocket: This year, ThinkGeek announced a bunch of products that we really wish were real, like the SpaceX Vertical Landing Mentos & Diet Coke Rocket, which Gizmodo reckons could be real someday soon, and a Rick and Morty roleplaying drinking game, which definitely sounds like an up-and-coming product.

Ginder Dating App for Gin-Lovers- Ginder finds you potential mates by their gin preference. This clever under-the-radar prank was pulled off by the Master of Malt blog and sadly is not an actual dating app.

OpenTable Taste App: The “new” app from OpenTable allows you to taste food from around the world before you make a reservation: “Try lickable photos before you book!” Unfortunately, virtual-reality food via app interface is not a reality yet.

Man Crates Releases Extinct Jerky: We have some beef with Man Crates because the jerky made from the meat of extinct animals is not actually a real thing. "It's become abundantly clear," a fictional scientist said in the promotional video, "the future of meat is the past."

Zoosk Releases a Burrito Dating App And now we encounter yet another fraud dating app, Zoosk Burrit-OH! We really wish we could find our “burrito soulmate” with Zoosk’s new dating app feature, but alas, we’ll have to wait for a release that’s not on April 1.

And finally, perhaps the granddaddy of all jokes on this fine April Fool’s day is that Pornhub has now been transformed into Cornhub, complete with sensual "corn videos," for all your husky viewing pleasure.


80 Highly Specific Conversation Starters For When You Don’t Want To Talk About Coronavirus

For me, last Thursday marked one full week of social distancing, which meant one full week of talking nonstop about social distancing: how to help people who are suddenly out of work, whether I should decamp to my boomer parents’ house or stay the hell away, and what to cook to spread out my grocery runs as far out as possible. The subtext of each of these conversations is how anxious everyone is about coronavirus.

That anxiety is extremely valid — we’re all feeling it for a reason. But because the pandemic is affecting everyone so radically, it feels impossible to not talk about it. I say, let’s just talk about something else!

Talking about literally anything other than coronavirus can help us reframe our thoughts and cope with this new normal, says Elana Cairo, a licensed clinical psychologist with Alma.

“When we’re thinking about something like the coronavirus … it tends to be worried thoughts about what might happen to us, to our family, to the world. Those kinds of thoughts tend to lead to feelings of anxiety and panic,” Cairo tells Bustle. “With distraction, we can bring ourselves back to the present moment and know that right now, we’re OK.”

To be clear, I’m not advocating for everyone to stick their heads in the sand and ignore the very real dangers this pandemic poses. And many people, especially medical professionals, grocery store employees, or other essential workers, don’t have the option to change the subject. But with estimates that Americans might be social distancing for months, I’m sure lots of us are down to pivot our Zoom convos toward anything — anything! — else.

“It's helpful to commiserate, but only to an extent,” Cairo says. “It's also helpful to know that we can talk and think about other things, too.”

Of course, it’s important to stay informed as the outbreak unfolds, since regulations are still changing day by day. But when you just need to hear about something good, here are 80 conversation starters to turn to, organized by most normal to most weirdly specific.


80 Highly Specific Conversation Starters For When You Don’t Want To Talk About Coronavirus

For me, last Thursday marked one full week of social distancing, which meant one full week of talking nonstop about social distancing: how to help people who are suddenly out of work, whether I should decamp to my boomer parents’ house or stay the hell away, and what to cook to spread out my grocery runs as far out as possible. The subtext of each of these conversations is how anxious everyone is about coronavirus.

That anxiety is extremely valid — we’re all feeling it for a reason. But because the pandemic is affecting everyone so radically, it feels impossible to not talk about it. I say, let’s just talk about something else!

Talking about literally anything other than coronavirus can help us reframe our thoughts and cope with this new normal, says Elana Cairo, a licensed clinical psychologist with Alma.

“When we’re thinking about something like the coronavirus … it tends to be worried thoughts about what might happen to us, to our family, to the world. Those kinds of thoughts tend to lead to feelings of anxiety and panic,” Cairo tells Bustle. “With distraction, we can bring ourselves back to the present moment and know that right now, we’re OK.”

To be clear, I’m not advocating for everyone to stick their heads in the sand and ignore the very real dangers this pandemic poses. And many people, especially medical professionals, grocery store employees, or other essential workers, don’t have the option to change the subject. But with estimates that Americans might be social distancing for months, I’m sure lots of us are down to pivot our Zoom convos toward anything — anything! — else.

“It's helpful to commiserate, but only to an extent,” Cairo says. “It's also helpful to know that we can talk and think about other things, too.”

Of course, it’s important to stay informed as the outbreak unfolds, since regulations are still changing day by day. But when you just need to hear about something good, here are 80 conversation starters to turn to, organized by most normal to most weirdly specific.


80 Highly Specific Conversation Starters For When You Don’t Want To Talk About Coronavirus

For me, last Thursday marked one full week of social distancing, which meant one full week of talking nonstop about social distancing: how to help people who are suddenly out of work, whether I should decamp to my boomer parents’ house or stay the hell away, and what to cook to spread out my grocery runs as far out as possible. The subtext of each of these conversations is how anxious everyone is about coronavirus.

That anxiety is extremely valid — we’re all feeling it for a reason. But because the pandemic is affecting everyone so radically, it feels impossible to not talk about it. I say, let’s just talk about something else!

Talking about literally anything other than coronavirus can help us reframe our thoughts and cope with this new normal, says Elana Cairo, a licensed clinical psychologist with Alma.

“When we’re thinking about something like the coronavirus … it tends to be worried thoughts about what might happen to us, to our family, to the world. Those kinds of thoughts tend to lead to feelings of anxiety and panic,” Cairo tells Bustle. “With distraction, we can bring ourselves back to the present moment and know that right now, we’re OK.”

To be clear, I’m not advocating for everyone to stick their heads in the sand and ignore the very real dangers this pandemic poses. And many people, especially medical professionals, grocery store employees, or other essential workers, don’t have the option to change the subject. But with estimates that Americans might be social distancing for months, I’m sure lots of us are down to pivot our Zoom convos toward anything — anything! — else.

“It's helpful to commiserate, but only to an extent,” Cairo says. “It's also helpful to know that we can talk and think about other things, too.”

Of course, it’s important to stay informed as the outbreak unfolds, since regulations are still changing day by day. But when you just need to hear about something good, here are 80 conversation starters to turn to, organized by most normal to most weirdly specific.


80 Highly Specific Conversation Starters For When You Don’t Want To Talk About Coronavirus

For me, last Thursday marked one full week of social distancing, which meant one full week of talking nonstop about social distancing: how to help people who are suddenly out of work, whether I should decamp to my boomer parents’ house or stay the hell away, and what to cook to spread out my grocery runs as far out as possible. The subtext of each of these conversations is how anxious everyone is about coronavirus.

That anxiety is extremely valid — we’re all feeling it for a reason. But because the pandemic is affecting everyone so radically, it feels impossible to not talk about it. I say, let’s just talk about something else!

Talking about literally anything other than coronavirus can help us reframe our thoughts and cope with this new normal, says Elana Cairo, a licensed clinical psychologist with Alma.

“When we’re thinking about something like the coronavirus … it tends to be worried thoughts about what might happen to us, to our family, to the world. Those kinds of thoughts tend to lead to feelings of anxiety and panic,” Cairo tells Bustle. “With distraction, we can bring ourselves back to the present moment and know that right now, we’re OK.”

To be clear, I’m not advocating for everyone to stick their heads in the sand and ignore the very real dangers this pandemic poses. And many people, especially medical professionals, grocery store employees, or other essential workers, don’t have the option to change the subject. But with estimates that Americans might be social distancing for months, I’m sure lots of us are down to pivot our Zoom convos toward anything — anything! — else.

“It's helpful to commiserate, but only to an extent,” Cairo says. “It's also helpful to know that we can talk and think about other things, too.”

Of course, it’s important to stay informed as the outbreak unfolds, since regulations are still changing day by day. But when you just need to hear about something good, here are 80 conversation starters to turn to, organized by most normal to most weirdly specific.


80 Highly Specific Conversation Starters For When You Don’t Want To Talk About Coronavirus

For me, last Thursday marked one full week of social distancing, which meant one full week of talking nonstop about social distancing: how to help people who are suddenly out of work, whether I should decamp to my boomer parents’ house or stay the hell away, and what to cook to spread out my grocery runs as far out as possible. The subtext of each of these conversations is how anxious everyone is about coronavirus.

That anxiety is extremely valid — we’re all feeling it for a reason. But because the pandemic is affecting everyone so radically, it feels impossible to not talk about it. I say, let’s just talk about something else!

Talking about literally anything other than coronavirus can help us reframe our thoughts and cope with this new normal, says Elana Cairo, a licensed clinical psychologist with Alma.

“When we’re thinking about something like the coronavirus … it tends to be worried thoughts about what might happen to us, to our family, to the world. Those kinds of thoughts tend to lead to feelings of anxiety and panic,” Cairo tells Bustle. “With distraction, we can bring ourselves back to the present moment and know that right now, we’re OK.”

To be clear, I’m not advocating for everyone to stick their heads in the sand and ignore the very real dangers this pandemic poses. And many people, especially medical professionals, grocery store employees, or other essential workers, don’t have the option to change the subject. But with estimates that Americans might be social distancing for months, I’m sure lots of us are down to pivot our Zoom convos toward anything — anything! — else.

“It's helpful to commiserate, but only to an extent,” Cairo says. “It's also helpful to know that we can talk and think about other things, too.”

Of course, it’s important to stay informed as the outbreak unfolds, since regulations are still changing day by day. But when you just need to hear about something good, here are 80 conversation starters to turn to, organized by most normal to most weirdly specific.


80 Highly Specific Conversation Starters For When You Don’t Want To Talk About Coronavirus

For me, last Thursday marked one full week of social distancing, which meant one full week of talking nonstop about social distancing: how to help people who are suddenly out of work, whether I should decamp to my boomer parents’ house or stay the hell away, and what to cook to spread out my grocery runs as far out as possible. The subtext of each of these conversations is how anxious everyone is about coronavirus.

That anxiety is extremely valid — we’re all feeling it for a reason. But because the pandemic is affecting everyone so radically, it feels impossible to not talk about it. I say, let’s just talk about something else!

Talking about literally anything other than coronavirus can help us reframe our thoughts and cope with this new normal, says Elana Cairo, a licensed clinical psychologist with Alma.

“When we’re thinking about something like the coronavirus … it tends to be worried thoughts about what might happen to us, to our family, to the world. Those kinds of thoughts tend to lead to feelings of anxiety and panic,” Cairo tells Bustle. “With distraction, we can bring ourselves back to the present moment and know that right now, we’re OK.”

To be clear, I’m not advocating for everyone to stick their heads in the sand and ignore the very real dangers this pandemic poses. And many people, especially medical professionals, grocery store employees, or other essential workers, don’t have the option to change the subject. But with estimates that Americans might be social distancing for months, I’m sure lots of us are down to pivot our Zoom convos toward anything — anything! — else.

“It's helpful to commiserate, but only to an extent,” Cairo says. “It's also helpful to know that we can talk and think about other things, too.”

Of course, it’s important to stay informed as the outbreak unfolds, since regulations are still changing day by day. But when you just need to hear about something good, here are 80 conversation starters to turn to, organized by most normal to most weirdly specific.


80 Highly Specific Conversation Starters For When You Don’t Want To Talk About Coronavirus

For me, last Thursday marked one full week of social distancing, which meant one full week of talking nonstop about social distancing: how to help people who are suddenly out of work, whether I should decamp to my boomer parents’ house or stay the hell away, and what to cook to spread out my grocery runs as far out as possible. The subtext of each of these conversations is how anxious everyone is about coronavirus.

That anxiety is extremely valid — we’re all feeling it for a reason. But because the pandemic is affecting everyone so radically, it feels impossible to not talk about it. I say, let’s just talk about something else!

Talking about literally anything other than coronavirus can help us reframe our thoughts and cope with this new normal, says Elana Cairo, a licensed clinical psychologist with Alma.

“When we’re thinking about something like the coronavirus … it tends to be worried thoughts about what might happen to us, to our family, to the world. Those kinds of thoughts tend to lead to feelings of anxiety and panic,” Cairo tells Bustle. “With distraction, we can bring ourselves back to the present moment and know that right now, we’re OK.”

To be clear, I’m not advocating for everyone to stick their heads in the sand and ignore the very real dangers this pandemic poses. And many people, especially medical professionals, grocery store employees, or other essential workers, don’t have the option to change the subject. But with estimates that Americans might be social distancing for months, I’m sure lots of us are down to pivot our Zoom convos toward anything — anything! — else.

“It's helpful to commiserate, but only to an extent,” Cairo says. “It's also helpful to know that we can talk and think about other things, too.”

Of course, it’s important to stay informed as the outbreak unfolds, since regulations are still changing day by day. But when you just need to hear about something good, here are 80 conversation starters to turn to, organized by most normal to most weirdly specific.


80 Highly Specific Conversation Starters For When You Don’t Want To Talk About Coronavirus

For me, last Thursday marked one full week of social distancing, which meant one full week of talking nonstop about social distancing: how to help people who are suddenly out of work, whether I should decamp to my boomer parents’ house or stay the hell away, and what to cook to spread out my grocery runs as far out as possible. The subtext of each of these conversations is how anxious everyone is about coronavirus.

That anxiety is extremely valid — we’re all feeling it for a reason. But because the pandemic is affecting everyone so radically, it feels impossible to not talk about it. I say, let’s just talk about something else!

Talking about literally anything other than coronavirus can help us reframe our thoughts and cope with this new normal, says Elana Cairo, a licensed clinical psychologist with Alma.

“When we’re thinking about something like the coronavirus … it tends to be worried thoughts about what might happen to us, to our family, to the world. Those kinds of thoughts tend to lead to feelings of anxiety and panic,” Cairo tells Bustle. “With distraction, we can bring ourselves back to the present moment and know that right now, we’re OK.”

To be clear, I’m not advocating for everyone to stick their heads in the sand and ignore the very real dangers this pandemic poses. And many people, especially medical professionals, grocery store employees, or other essential workers, don’t have the option to change the subject. But with estimates that Americans might be social distancing for months, I’m sure lots of us are down to pivot our Zoom convos toward anything — anything! — else.

“It's helpful to commiserate, but only to an extent,” Cairo says. “It's also helpful to know that we can talk and think about other things, too.”

Of course, it’s important to stay informed as the outbreak unfolds, since regulations are still changing day by day. But when you just need to hear about something good, here are 80 conversation starters to turn to, organized by most normal to most weirdly specific.


80 Highly Specific Conversation Starters For When You Don’t Want To Talk About Coronavirus

For me, last Thursday marked one full week of social distancing, which meant one full week of talking nonstop about social distancing: how to help people who are suddenly out of work, whether I should decamp to my boomer parents’ house or stay the hell away, and what to cook to spread out my grocery runs as far out as possible. The subtext of each of these conversations is how anxious everyone is about coronavirus.

That anxiety is extremely valid — we’re all feeling it for a reason. But because the pandemic is affecting everyone so radically, it feels impossible to not talk about it. I say, let’s just talk about something else!

Talking about literally anything other than coronavirus can help us reframe our thoughts and cope with this new normal, says Elana Cairo, a licensed clinical psychologist with Alma.

“When we’re thinking about something like the coronavirus … it tends to be worried thoughts about what might happen to us, to our family, to the world. Those kinds of thoughts tend to lead to feelings of anxiety and panic,” Cairo tells Bustle. “With distraction, we can bring ourselves back to the present moment and know that right now, we’re OK.”

To be clear, I’m not advocating for everyone to stick their heads in the sand and ignore the very real dangers this pandemic poses. And many people, especially medical professionals, grocery store employees, or other essential workers, don’t have the option to change the subject. But with estimates that Americans might be social distancing for months, I’m sure lots of us are down to pivot our Zoom convos toward anything — anything! — else.

“It's helpful to commiserate, but only to an extent,” Cairo says. “It's also helpful to know that we can talk and think about other things, too.”

Of course, it’s important to stay informed as the outbreak unfolds, since regulations are still changing day by day. But when you just need to hear about something good, here are 80 conversation starters to turn to, organized by most normal to most weirdly specific.


80 Highly Specific Conversation Starters For When You Don’t Want To Talk About Coronavirus

For me, last Thursday marked one full week of social distancing, which meant one full week of talking nonstop about social distancing: how to help people who are suddenly out of work, whether I should decamp to my boomer parents’ house or stay the hell away, and what to cook to spread out my grocery runs as far out as possible. The subtext of each of these conversations is how anxious everyone is about coronavirus.

That anxiety is extremely valid — we’re all feeling it for a reason. But because the pandemic is affecting everyone so radically, it feels impossible to not talk about it. I say, let’s just talk about something else!

Talking about literally anything other than coronavirus can help us reframe our thoughts and cope with this new normal, says Elana Cairo, a licensed clinical psychologist with Alma.

“When we’re thinking about something like the coronavirus … it tends to be worried thoughts about what might happen to us, to our family, to the world. Those kinds of thoughts tend to lead to feelings of anxiety and panic,” Cairo tells Bustle. “With distraction, we can bring ourselves back to the present moment and know that right now, we’re OK.”

To be clear, I’m not advocating for everyone to stick their heads in the sand and ignore the very real dangers this pandemic poses. And many people, especially medical professionals, grocery store employees, or other essential workers, don’t have the option to change the subject. But with estimates that Americans might be social distancing for months, I’m sure lots of us are down to pivot our Zoom convos toward anything — anything! — else.

“It's helpful to commiserate, but only to an extent,” Cairo says. “It's also helpful to know that we can talk and think about other things, too.”

Of course, it’s important to stay informed as the outbreak unfolds, since regulations are still changing day by day. But when you just need to hear about something good, here are 80 conversation starters to turn to, organized by most normal to most weirdly specific.